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once upon a time there was an ugly duckling. he was so ugly, everyone knew but no one said anything because they didn’t want to be rude. everything turned out alright though, for he grew up to be a beautiful swan. but all the other swans were beautiful too so he was actually an average swan. he didn’t care though because beauty never mattered to him because he only cared about eating bread crumbs because he was just a stupid-ass bird